so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
