Define "chronic" masturbator.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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