I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
