Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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