I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
