Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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