Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
