wrigley field is MILF paradise
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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