it wasn't lemon gatorade
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
