I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
cat food counts as protein by the way
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
