bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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