Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
