That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Congratulations! We have a period
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