Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
