Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
