He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
