Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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