why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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