mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
