Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
