Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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