I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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