Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You took a bar mat shot.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
