My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize