What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize