Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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