I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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