don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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