How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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