Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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