I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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