ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
