can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
