My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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