I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
