you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
