She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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