Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
