I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
