It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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