Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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