guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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