If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
