on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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