Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
