I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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