im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
