Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
