Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
