There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize