He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
