Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
