Me too!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
