did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
