But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
