There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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