the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
