this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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