this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't deserve a penis
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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